[his surprise is evident. Died, and not disappeared? Accidental fatalities among human children were... Rare. Very rare. And Eiki's manner implicated queerats.
His gut iced. There had been more than one obliteration of a colony in the last ten years, but he remembered the rumours associated with one in particular. ]
[He folds his arms, taking another step back but more for the extra room than because he's planning to run. At least it didn't seem necessary this second. This fiend had decided not to kill them despite having every opportunity. He wasn't sure that would last if he abruptly tried to get away.]
[He can guess who the 'we' means, but his stomach still turns. Everyone working for pest control had heard about the rare human who sided with queerats. And what that meant for everyone else.]
[every child, no matter their exposure, lived in fear of the cats as something more visceral than a ghost story. Eiki might believe him or he might not, but at least he had proof]
[it had come back to that after all. His fingers toyed with the the cloth around his neck, but he didn't know how much actual good the old scars would do him. There were certainly no predators within the Holy barrier, but Eiki could pin it on a predator outside of it, or even once the queerats.]
What about Takamichi? He bullied you all the time.
[That name was familiar to both of them, and Haruna had mentioned it before, but it had slid past them, slippery. Hard to hold onto. Who was Takamichi? Had Eiki ever been bullied? (By anyone but Uzuki, of course). It felt... difficult to grasp.]
Who is that?
[Though she half feels like she knows the answer. But wants to make him say it.]
[patient, Haruna turned over what he remembered, haltingly as it came to him]
Our other group member. He made you carry his books. He tried to scare you... Uzuki and he hated each other; they both always wanted to be the leader. When she was away after her Cantus awakened he went after you and stole your books, then threw them outside the Holy Barrier. That's when I hit him.
They would have been... twelve, if he was telling the truth. But Eiki didn't remember it. Neither did Uzuki. It was hard in particular for her to remember much from before her cantus was awakened (because their connection was so much weaker then, an ever present insecurity reminded her).
He eyes him suspiciously, leaning back against a tree, not casual but guarded.]
Let... let me think.
[They needed a minute.
It was possible, Eiki pointed out. They were more familiar with the ability to change or erase memories than most. Eiki had done it to others and only learned how by exploring what was done to him. He was aware his memories weren't whole, but it wasn't that easy to recover what you didn't know had been lost.
He did remember her, most didn't. The loss of a child to queerats would have strained the community, that was the reason they'd sussed out. It had never made her any happier about it, and Eiki avoided pointing out the reasonableness of the act.
If, then, this person was telling the truth, he had known them as children, and hadn't been present to have his memories altered. Why...? And what had happened to this other person as well?
Uzuki chews on her lip while they consult and after a moment looks up at him, sharp and suspicious but listening.]
[Haruna left him to his thoughts, retreating to his own. He hadn't really considered what exactly Eiki meant to him as a token of his old life; the pang of nostalgia he felt was acute enough to make him uneasy. Eiki could still know his parents... Would they remember him? Would they have had another child?
At least if he could know they were doing well...
Eiki's voice shook him out of his thoughts. He paused a moment to collect himself before answering, squaring his gaze with the other man's]
I was selected to be killed once they found out I didn't have death feedback—Takamichi too, I'd guess. My parents told me to leave, but I didn't believe them until I saw the tainted cat stalking me.
[Eiki reclaimed control again, but stayed leaning up against the tree. They didn't usually switch this often but the situation was somewhat dramatic, still, it was habit to not be too obvious about it. His features, however, still smoothed out, cooler.
He paused, thinking alone while watching Haruna, lips pursed. It was true he had never heard of a human not having the deathfeed back. But how often was it possible to find out...? Would they really dispose of children who didn't have it.
...Uzuki was doubtful, Eiki was less so.]
If what you say is true I should be able to recover those memories.
[it caught him off guard a little. that, at least, was more promising than anything else Eiki had said. If he could be persuaded to believe Haruna...
... Probably nothing would change. regardless of the circumstances and imbalanced retribution the humans had taken afterwards, the queerats had killed his sister. The best he could hope for was Eiki promising to leave and not come back]
I don't know how; it's not something I have any experience with.
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[His tone is clipped and even, not calm as much as ice cold.]
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His gut iced. There had been more than one obliteration of a colony in the last ten years, but he remembered the rumours associated with one in particular. ]
I didn't know. Eight years ago?
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[He folds his arms, taking another step back but more for the extra room than because he's planning to run. At least it didn't seem necessary this second. This fiend had decided not to kill them despite having every opportunity. He wasn't sure that would last if he abruptly tried to get away.]
I thought you didn't know.
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I heard about the colony being wiped out for the death of one child.
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[His expression turns dark, unapologetic.]
Obviously it wasn't enough or I wouldn't be here now.
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[He can guess who the 'we' means, but his stomach still turns. Everyone working for pest control had heard about the rare human who sided with queerats. And what that meant for everyone else.]
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Why?
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Protected? [Eiki's voice goes high and scoffing] From what? Humans can't--
[She stops, hesitates, then ignores Eiki's mental sigh and pushes on]
We can't kill you, in case you didn't realize that when you were murdering my friends.
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[every child, no matter their exposure, lived in fear of the cats as something more visceral than a ghost story. Eiki might believe him or he might not, but at least he had proof]
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[An automatic response.
It had been years since they had feared tainted cats but...
She shakes her head.]
You can't just say whatever you want. I don't even know you.
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What about Takamichi? He bullied you all the time.
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[That name was familiar to both of them, and Haruna had mentioned it before, but it had slid past them, slippery. Hard to hold onto. Who was Takamichi? Had Eiki ever been bullied? (By anyone but Uzuki, of course). It felt... difficult to grasp.]
Who is that?
[Though she half feels like she knows the answer. But wants to make him say it.]
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Our other group member. He made you carry his books. He tried to scare you... Uzuki and he hated each other; they both always wanted to be the leader. When she was away after her Cantus awakened he went after you and stole your books, then threw them outside the Holy Barrier. That's when I hit him.
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They would have been... twelve, if he was telling the truth. But Eiki didn't remember it. Neither did Uzuki. It was hard in particular for her to remember much from before her cantus was awakened (because their connection was so much weaker then, an ever present insecurity reminded her).
He eyes him suspiciously, leaning back against a tree, not casual but guarded.]
Let... let me think.
[They needed a minute.
It was possible, Eiki pointed out. They were more familiar with the ability to change or erase memories than most. Eiki had done it to others and only learned how by exploring what was done to him. He was aware his memories weren't whole, but it wasn't that easy to recover what you didn't know had been lost.
He did remember her, most didn't. The loss of a child to queerats would have strained the community, that was the reason they'd sussed out. It had never made her any happier about it, and Eiki avoided pointing out the reasonableness of the act.
If, then, this person was telling the truth, he had known them as children, and hadn't been present to have his memories altered. Why...? And what had happened to this other person as well?
Uzuki chews on her lip while they consult and after a moment looks up at him, sharp and suspicious but listening.]
Why would we forget you? And Takamichi?
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At least if he could know they were doing well...
Eiki's voice shook him out of his thoughts. He paused a moment to collect himself before answering, squaring his gaze with the other man's]
I was selected to be killed once they found out I didn't have death feedback—Takamichi too, I'd guess. My parents told me to leave, but I didn't believe them until I saw the tainted cat stalking me.
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He paused, thinking alone while watching Haruna, lips pursed. It was true he had never heard of a human not having the deathfeed back. But how often was it possible to find out...? Would they really dispose of children who didn't have it.
...Uzuki was doubtful, Eiki was less so.]
If what you say is true I should be able to recover those memories.
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[it caught him off guard a little. that, at least, was more promising than anything else Eiki had said. If he could be persuaded to believe Haruna...
... Probably nothing would change. regardless of the circumstances and imbalanced retribution the humans had taken afterwards, the queerats had killed his sister. The best he could hope for was Eiki promising to leave and not come back]
I don't know how; it's not something I have any experience with.
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[He looks around, accessing their location. Dealing with memories was not a short process.]
But not here. It takes a while.
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It only matters if you'll actually co-operate. How much do you care if I remember at all?
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[His tone isn't the faintest bit wry. Other than the hint of a question, there's really no inflection at all.]
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